Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas !!!
On the contrary, on this very holy day
I feel as if my spirit is full with vigor again ! :D
So different from what I've been through a few days ago....

Hm, Wednesday went back to KL lo :/
this time went back with mum only
at first, we were like
WANT TO GO BACK OR NOT?!?!?!?!
After hesitating for almost 2 hours,
finally we decided that we must go back
so that our 2012 seems complete.

Ironically, the trio of us get to hang out before the expected apocalypse
Yean, Min and I
haha, just a few days to our 10 years friendship anniversary LOL!
Damn, I sacrificed my time to hang out with them
so I didn't have the chance to hang out with the boys ~~
because Friday, I was going to leave KL

So, these are our photos

Two noobs eating burgers xD, Vitamin's face so 不屑hahaha.

Two 傻婆 walking in front of me, who could have thought they were lesbian! ( Aiya, always like that de la, hang out with them only to left me neglected trudging behind ~ ) 

Peeping guys' toilet? o.O

Intend to electrify me but failed :/

Three of us :) 

As requested by me

My playmate / prank mate / bully target since Standard 3

Act lady-like xD

Their real behaviour ~

<THE END> 

The photos were taken in Sunway Pyramid

Too bad, we didn't get to sing k together 

because I was rushing back for lunch 

Last but not least, we gossip about our former primary classmates LOL

Lastly, thanks to Droisyer and Vincent

because those jokes that I'd been through

seem to work on them LOL! xD 

And then, they waved goodbyes to me 

and I said : SEE YOU NEXT YEAR, DON'T EVER MISS ME 

and then they were nowhere to be seen any more

what remained was only the din of passing vehicles and the crowd...

Btw, at night, we went to Mid Valley

haiz, feel so pathetic for Johor 

see how they use the avenues  : 

Altogether there are a total of 4 courts in Mid Valley

but we were too tired to go all of it to take photos 

because we have to rush for our 3rd round - Supper

--------------------------------------------------------------

And then the day finally comes

which is time to say goodbye, Friday :)

Seriously, I'd been through this for erm.. 3 times, this is the 4th time 

But I've no idea why am I feeling so sad

you know...

When you go to somewhere where you're originated from can be so disconcerting..

Before I left, I take the chance to take a glimpse on these few photos

and the flashback starts to play like a video tape in my mind...

If I'm not mistaken, this photo was taken in a zoo when I was standard 2. The woman is my babysitter, who has taken care of me since I don't know when, but now she is engulfed by frailty. How time flies....

It was until the three of them came to this world. And we used to play together, despite our age gap, when I come to my babysitter's house. But this time they were not around :/

My sis's grad :) 

Haha, she looks so short ! 

The chair that we use to grab to sit...

And the house that was once give me the feel of I'm home...

Sigh, light is running at a speed or 300,000,000 meters per second..

So I waved goodbye to this house 

and hugged my babysitter ( the usual formalities :x ) 

at that instant, I saw my mum's face was red, so did I

involuntarily, my eyes were filled with tears

so full that they're going to fall

and I knew that If I flip my eyelids or simply close it

I could no longer conceal my weakness

because the tears will flow out.

I must do something to stifle my emotion

just like I always did when I couldn't pluck up the courage

to confess to the girl that I like

So instead, I countered back and let the tears

converged into a river

and let them flow in my body. 

Sigh...

Do you believe in dooms day?

which is just 3 more days ahead?

Well, I've no opinion, but I just feel....

very very resigned...

What if there's dooms day...

Have been rotting at home

reading novels, online-ing...

which only left my mind go haywire

Knowing that dooms day is just "around the corner"

Suddenly I feel a pang of sorrow and pathetic

Seriously, I don't dread death .

What I dread the most is

even before death, I'm not willing to face death

there are a hell lot more of things which I have not done yet D:

My success

My love 

After all

all my fear revolves around a timeless reality :

I can't put mortal happiness aside >< 

Sometimes I hope my soul never exists 

for I'm too tired living 

in this corrupted world >< 

haizzzzz 

Before I'm dead, I'll live my life to the fullest :) 

How time flies
I do remember the time when I'd finished Bio test in SPM
the joy
the urge to break free
the urge to soar
the urge to roam into the sky
for I'd been too tired preparing for this test
which now only I realized that it's just...
a piece of useless toiletries
And my naivete makes me to think that
this is the end :) THE END ...
But later, to my astonishment, this is only the beginning ...
I'd been too naive that time ...  
You may laugh at me :)

so the story jumps to the severe depression that struck me so badly
that money rules the world, and it'd never stop ruling the world
Until dooms day, shall I say? Maybe.
So do hatred, desires, a will to outwit others begin to take their roots in me...
And I feel as if...
I was die a naive boy, and reborn another phoenix that's ready to strike at any time

Still
the fact that people around me are typically despicable and idiotic as they're
never change
and I do hope that this fact doesn't change at all
and I'm waiting for my chance to ourstand, outwit, outlast and outsmart them
I'm still holding on to the faith that God is fair :)
and He is simply too fair
thanks for giving me a brain, though not very genious
I don't blame for giving me a diminutive stature ( I'm just trying to be humourous )

The world is changing
despite the fact that the people are still idiotic
I've been too complacent during this holiday
I think I shall start to work out something else
before everyone outwits me.

Is the world around me changing or am I the only one who changes?
I think I prefer the latter than the former.
Fuck, what's happening to me again?
Puberty? Well it has started long ago, I mean physically
But there's another part of me, sigh
Damn! I feel like I've been surrounded by so many idiots nowadays
as if the whole universe owes me
and all the fucking people around me revolving in my life are so despicable and idiotic
Damn.
My temper has been bad and now it becomes worse than the worst
Every time I feel like losing my temper and find no way to lose it in a more
hmm.. satisfactory way.
and my choice of word that I used to spout out when I'm being irritated has changed too
and it changes from a level of mild to very blatant and obnoxious
such as You stupid > idiot as you are > chibai > asshole > Dim-wit > FUCKER!
LOL, in conclusion, no sign of positive changes that are playing in me

In the other hand, I had finished 40% of Grace's sensual novel - The other side of the midnight
Finally, I get a hunch of what the stupid title has got to do with the story line
I suppose it means doing something stealthily behind someone, conspire something else
and then when the person you hate is off guard,
you strike him/her hard, avenge for yourself, destroy the person
watch him/her suffer while you yourself folding arms revelling in the satisfaction.
The funny part of this novel is that
It's hard not to be horny halfway reading it haha ...
Never mind, I'm loving the extreme ~

So now the changes that strike me out of a sudden have had a substantial impact on my thinking
I wonder did I ever have a crush in the "girls" at my school
well, my friend can tell who they are easily
I wonder is it a craze, a fashion or what
but one thing for sure that would never change
I'm not gay ^_^
Sometimes I wonder what's true love also @. @
and my preoccupation on this matters only complicate my life
So I decided to put it aside first
and amusingly, you know what am I going to say
Concentrate in my .... haha, it's so boring every time that I've to say this
But I make a promise to myself
Once I've had enough assets
I'll taste what I like

Tears gushing out to my eyes
clouded both of my eyes
until my eyes can't hold anymore tears
they start to flow out involuntarily
creating a stream of tiny droplets
glinting off any light rays that fall on it
watery and yet salty
maybe it signifies the emotion that has been suppressed too long
So I let it be .
FIRST TIME...
I shed tears because of exams
I'd never done that before.
And why I feel so low to the extent of shedding tears?
Maybe STPM meant a lot to me

How ridiculous am I ...
People say exam is not everything
I guess Albert Einstein's grades were quite poor during his school days
but then at the end
he had himself toiling in his own world
and finally he formulated the equation E = mc2
yes, maybe exam is not everything, maybe for him
but I do not want to have the same life as him
so EXAM meant a lot to me D:

Haiz, I really feel that
God had me fooled
in a very ridiculous and cruel way  
But for the time being, for now, for this instant
I'll just let my tears flow ..
For this is the only means that can make me stronger.

It has not been a smooth sailing nowadays haiz
Have to deal with so much psychological changes that are happening in me
Emotional changes, perception towards life and girls ...

Speaking of girl
YQR is becoming prettier and prettier /.\
I don't know why I think that she's pretty!
Maybe it's because she has boyfriend le barh?! haha
Hope she becomes fat fat la!

Another girl again
Same class with me de is becoming hotter and hotter also /.\
My perception =.=
Is it because she has had a broken relationship before? :x Sorry ah Droisyer
Haizzz, this is the changes that I've to deal with ><

Studies?
Haizz
Nowadays I'm really stress with my studies
know what?
TRIAL IS IN THIS OCTOBER !
And comes the real one in this November
It would be better if it's so easy to give up in this case haiz
But wait,
the real life of mine hasn't start yet
So I can't give up right now!

Haizz, I'm tired. really :(
When can I stop all these miseries?  
Sleepy.
Tomorrow tuition again after a sleepy Saturday schooling day