Recently, I've changed a lot

I can leave my homework undone and bring them to school

and today "downstairs" teacher gave a piece of her mind to me

saying that I double-standard-ed her or whatever

just because I didn't do her homework as she has told us to do on Friday

and that was when I knew that I've changed. 

And I've been picking up many bad habits recently

I can leave my homework undone

and go online or watching movies

like yesterday

shall I say

I'm just not myself for the time-being?

because something terrible is really happening in me 

well, I guess it's because of the stress 

that has been building up in front since long time ago

I remembered last time I always complain that

I didn't have enough time of FB-ing 

LISTEN, FB-ING...

during my most busy and hated week(s) 

which were the weeks when I had public speaking competition

Writing scripts, making lots of amendments to my scrips to make them sound nice

and then practicing in front of a mirror while holding my phone which acts as a stopwatch

I'm a total perfect of myself

still preserving what I always been 

and I also remembered during standard 1 to 6

I'd always forced myself to finish at least third quarter

of my mountainous homework before going to bed 

how time changes people... this is what I feel

I've been deteriorating nowadays\

and I'm gonna stop this by now

REFORM, is what I should do now 

and I'm gonna do it today

I'm gonna adjust the clock time in my phone

so I won't complain having not enough time for preparation before school

I'm gonna sleep at the latest 10.30 p.m.

so that I won't complain depriving or sleep because I wake up at this

erm... fucking 5 a.m.

I'm gonna finish my homework as soon as I get back home

and finish them as much as possible 

so that I'm not gonna repeat the mistakes I've done today

and I'm gonna waste my time talking nonsense in class anymore

but not all the time of course 

I've to change back myself to SPM-mood again!

like what I did for the past major exam

I know God likes to compare

and I'm afraid that He will punish me

because I didn't put much effort like I did in my SPM

I'm gonna deviate from my very first goal again