Hey, I'm back to blogging again. Uhm so, I finally took a leap of faith to come to NTU to study under JPA Pengajian Ijazah Luar Negara (PILN) 2014, though not many of my friends know that I'm under this not so coveted scholarship like ASEAN, CN Yang, College scholarship. So far everything is just fine, with the seniors, juniors and last but not least, my fellow hall mates, whom I used to have lunch and dinner with them at the canteen. My roommate is also fine, he's a Sabahan, UEC background.

Apparently, I lost my smartphone so I couldn't take as many photos as I please. But seriously, Singapore is really a nice place! I'm so grateful that under my own circumstances, I'm still able to make it to NTU, though not from a very strong financial background. I also realize that, my dreams of studying in Singapore actually started when I was Primary 6. I still remember for no reason, I wasn't qualified for some "scholarship" or that I didn't meet the cut-off point to be selected to take some admission test to study in Singapore for Secondary 1. Then in Secondary 3, I applied for ASEAN but I didn't send my supporting documents, so I wasn't qualified again. And in Pre-U while I was still in the recovery period of devastated to take Form 6, I went to this ASEAN Pre-U Scholarship admission test to enter JC. Again, I wasn't qualified, maybe my English too sucks D: . So, after so many toils, I finally made it to NTU, but not under Singapore Scholarship, but under Malaysia Scholarship.

Enough said. Recently in one of the canteen, I came across this aunty who's selling ban mee. There is nothing special about this aunty. But one thing is she was toiling laboriously while serving me, and it kind of reminds me of my mother :) My mother earned a living selling noodles soup and chow kuey teow, bringing up 5 children, with me being the youngest. The aunty surely reflects my mother, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow. My mother worked so hard, for like 30 years? just to provide a better living for the 5 of us. But still, it's only enough for necessities of life ( food, drink, shelter, home, you name it ). Others like education, we've to work very hard to secure scholarship to fund our own studies. My brother and sister didn't make it to Singapore because they didn't dream big, but I do. So, I'm somehow touched when my mum finally can settle down, with my brother looking after her, after so many years of working. But then, it's not the end yet, I'm one of her worry for the time being too.

Just now I called her to say that how inconvenient it is that I don't have a smartphone because everything goes by Whatsaap or LINE. She quickly offered to temporarily give her smartphone to me. And I said how about your candy crush? She said no choice. I really feel warm after listening to that.

I've vowed to work harder in NTU. Seriously, there're no place for me to slack here. I've to work really hard, harder than the way in STPM, to excel in academic and CCA. I really hope that I still turn out fine in the future.

Hehe, Happy Chinese New Year Eve!
I've always wanted to blog recently but found no time to do it
And today suddenly I've the "urge" to blog to share some of my thoughts D:

Where to start with? Hm...
I'm currently working as an administrator at a tuition center
somehow in someway I felt I betrayed Mr Chew haha
Looking back at all the power Chemistry notes makes me miss the Form 6 times
despite that arduous period in my life
to cope with so many things, er hm, only I'm aware of what are the "things"
NEED TO GROW UP MAH...

My job as an administrator is far more relaxed than I first thought or expected. Generally, it's just receiving calls, liaise with teachers who come in, and prodding those students to pay their damn fees ( Well, this is really frustrating, they're always due and it's not good if me, an admin keep prodding them to pay their due fees ). But it turned out that the my current situation is rather more complacent than I thought, due to not many people come to that center. There, I met a dedicated teacher call Mrs Teoh who taught Mathematics T. I tell myself that if I'd known her earlier, I'd have attend her tuition classes. What a loving, responsible and dedicated teacher she is. So, during my free times, like 4 hours plus, I spent time reading newspaper and English book. Ha, hope my English will show a tremendous improve in the future! Nowadays, I'm reading a book called "Total Recall" telling about the lives of Arnold Schwarzeneggar, amount to 600+ pages. It's not a biography, it's sort of his stories in a more intriguing way, and that keeps my interest in that book going. And damn-ly, I forgot to bring it back to read the remaining pages left during this CNY period.

Hm... So my off day ends on next Thursday, as Mrs Teoh's class resumes on next Friday. And this Sunday I'm going to JPO with RINA~~~~~~~~ Couldn't be more excited than ever. Honestly, I find CNY less "appealing" to me anymore, at least for now. I've no idea why do I think this way. I never felt home in JB, nor other places. There aren't any places that offer a sense of home or a sense of belonging to me, really. I admit I miss KL, but that only disconcerts me as how I used to live in KL, compared to how I used to live now. It's not that I despise here, I don't despise anyone or any place ( I don't even despise FPT ). I just need a home, and nothing seems to offer me that feeling. I even said to myself that the only person who could offer this feeling to me is my future wife. I want to leave here and start a new life at other places. I decided that it would either be Singapore, KL or overseas. Johor has way too little job opportunities to me. Seriously, CNY is just a mere holidays for me, nothing.

It kind of upsets me when my dream to further my studies overseas is dimmed. Of course, due to financial constraints, even with JPA schoalrship. I'm really sad, but again, as I told you, I don't despise anyone, I don't despise my mum who can't help me, no anyone. Studying in UK is exorbitantly expensive, as I counted, the 4 years period would consume more than RM350,000, an amount which can be used to purchase a car or a posh car. So, parents who send their children to study in UK are really rich to hell! So, for the time being, I stop "dreaming" for awhile and settle for peace..... Working > Reading > Online > Sleep and the cycle repeats itself over and over again. I really need sometime of my own to go for a vacation :)