So glad that I'm home this early 9.45 p.m.
after the brain storming physics tuition
somehow I'm proud of myself being a physics student
as this subject applies all the Maths stuffs in it

Aww..
Physics project, chemistry project.
PA the topic is settled
as for the science projects
I'm still very skeptical towards
the knowledge of our school teachers on these projects
haiz never mind
as I always said
Government schools are all like that
what I can do is to bear with it
for 1 more DREADFUL year
hopefully, my degree years wouldn't be like this x.x

What makes a person a best author?
Apart from eloquence in language
I think it's imagination haha
well, this time my imagination ran wild abit x.x

Ok, the story goes like this
today went to Jusco with family
and it happened that my brother left his wallet in the car
then I was "ordered" or "instructed" to help him take his wallet
then he handed me the car key
last but not least, he did remind me to lock the door after taking his wallet

For the first time, I had this kind of feeling of "act like a boss" LOLLL
Holding the key, going down escalators after escalators
and finally getting to the parking lot
Locating the white car
having my posture and walking gait straighten
preserving my image as a, hm.. don't know how to say xD
despite all the bullshits, I found the car, pressed the button
got into the car
the other paranoid side of me kept me searching for perpetrators
that might knock me down when I was getting into the car
the other side of my ego kept me opening the door like a boss
pretend like I own the BMW
so finally, I get into the car to search the wallet
and lock myself inside
and for the first time, I was being recognized
as if I OWNED the car
and a person was signalling to fill in the space that the car parked
but I did not notice it not until I found the wallet
and since I was only taking the wallet, but not driving away
I ended the scenario with grace
by shaking my hand profusely
as a sign that I was not driving the car out
and funnily, I did not press the correct button
when locking the door
and thanks God no one ever saw it LOL!

So it was time for my imagination again
I imagine myself owning the car
wearing some nice outfit
(Although I'm not as stunningly gorgeous and hot as Chris Evans)
and people who sit next to me
would be some SexY, ClassY and SassY girls
well, definitely not for "her"
but if "she" insists, maybe she can sit there
temporarily for erm.. 1 month and a half, or even weeks
as she can't sustain my interest long. xD
Hahahahaha...

By the way, yesterday had a nice hang out with some "friends"
definitely Eric is one of them la
sadly, we didn't get to sing K together
because once again, I was rushing back home =.=
so we decided to sing K on next Friday

Suddenly, I'm overwhelmed by a sense of loss again
I feel like everyone is advancing forward
and the light they see, is somehow brighter and brighter
and me?
I feel like as if... the pathetic me...
is still wandering in the dark wilderness
circling aimlessly, bleak .
and I can see no light coming
not even a ray of light. D:
But in the other hand
I appreciate the fact that I'm not alone in this journey
Despite the doubts that whether this is worth a fight
something that is rewarding or not
I'm happy that there are still people around me
that can accompany me. :)

Suddenly I can't help but keep listening to this music : )
And it just evokes the magical and wonderful feeling again =.= oh no
But I still stick to the "truth" that
I'm still not into her <33

So tomorrow I will start to learn this :D

Recently, there are two girls in my class who read my blog
I never expect that in the first place
actually creating this blog, I never meant to let anyone know.
it just.. simply..
serves as a channel for me to dissipate my emotions
writing down my daily activities
and what is recorded is my maturity or immaturity at different age
so the next time I emo again, I can click them and view them all
to see how time flies, and how my mind has been consumed by time
and most cruelly, the timeless reality in this world.
Actually, I don't even care does anyone read it or not
And the only one who's constantly viewing my blog is my best friend indeed
sorry, I mean companion or confidante.

There are really no best friend in my dictionary
and there are only companion or confidante
to those who fall to the category of confidante
are really those understand me, whose I always talk to
Like noobie Droisyer.
and those in my school?
I term them as something companion
that keeps you moving on in life, with companionship
so you don't feel lonely, as if walking in a desert.

Anyway, have just read Ricey's blog
and what she said is more than true =.=
WASTE OF TIME
EVERYTHING THE SCHOOL DONE
IS A WASTE OF TIME
Stay back after school ... and a lot more
In the other hand, seriously, I quite enjoy mahani's class
because what she taught for 1 hour
I'd already read it during my time of duty
and the rest of the time I either chit-chat with Mervyn
or teasing Eric. xD
that's why I enjoy her class the most
whereas Maths class is a bit stress /.\
Physics is totally BORING, DULL
Well, it's the class, not the subjects
PA is also quite boring and stress
have to concentrate or else you will miss a thing

And 1 more thing
I've been selected as the President of the what kelab bitara
(what a lame name)
from what I heard, it's some kind of "literature" club
wth?
if it is, then the members from other classes
seemingly are not interested in this class
well I've no idea the motive of them joining this club
But it's LITERATURE, NOT PUBLIC SPEAKING
Now, I'm really under pressure again
what activities should I plan
that has got something to do with literature
Reciting poems? writing poems?
I don't thinks those people would enjoy doing such things.
Maybe I'll google it one day to find out what other schools do. LOLL

I've just had my shower at this hour 10.52 p.m.
as usual, I open the door, but this time a bit slow
as my mood was different
and my mum was lying on the bed
but she wasn't asleep, she was asking why am I taking shower at this time
I told her everything, and as usual
she started her nagging of why didn't I take the taxi home
and this is her... :)
and I know that she cares for me

Do you know how pissed I'm today?!
Have been waiting for the bus for more than 30 mins
but I guess missed it, couldn't catch the bus
or shall I say
THE FUCKING BUS DIDN'T EVEN APPEAR AS SCHEDULED, WTF!

Then it was my rage, frustration that carried my legs
all the way to my home
as I walked longer, I became more intoxicated
later did I realized that it wasn't the bus which pissed me off so badly
My mood was somehow ambivalent
Frustrated because I've to walked a long way home
but it all still revolves around 1 common point
that I'm pathetic in every 'aspect'
not to mentioned here
which I swore this can be only told to my wife since form 3
fucking hell yea  ...

And then while I was walking,
I thought of many things again
and the "things" somehow motivate me to study harder.
I don't want to let all my efforts, my mum's efforts be in vain
I don't wan't to destroy the hopes that my mum laid on me

It won't last long...
is the only hope which I'm still clinging to until now...
because after a hurricane, comes a rainbow. :)

Just read Beatrice Liew's blog
One of my little classmates from the trio 38 group =.=
and then I've the urge to post again. LOL

Today is Saturday night,
but not a happy day for me la :/
Have been through this, but still not use to it ><
tomorrow have to attend the damn tuition again
so my day starts at 8.30 a.m. again
and 5.30 p.m. only reach home D:
4.30 or 5 reach setia bus stop
then walk a long way back to my house again .
Why the hell is my teachers all so incompetent?
If they're good, then I wouldn't have to attend tuition classes anymore D:

Nowadays have been complacent
Maybe the school has just started, I guess
But eventually pressure starts to build up, *SIGH*
Have to worry about my projects, chemistry and physics
everything is on our own
with no one to guide. haizzzzzz
But this time, I'm different D:
I think I lost a bit of my enthusiasm in study..
at least, compared to last time
it wasn't as strong as last time.
I guess because school has just started a few days ago :/
The thought of having to attend tuition classes tomorrow already have me bad-mood-ed :/

Nowadays have been imagining things again,
or having hallucinations, shall I say? xD
Have been imagining myself confessing to girls
or flirting with girls, or coax them to '....' LOLLLL.
Don't have to say
well, I guess these are normal to a typical guy
well, puberty has just done the right job on me
despite the fact that it's a bit late haha
because I know that my all my friends had been through all these
which now I only started to experience it, tsk tsk
anyway, as I said, puberty has just done the right job
as it makes me more typical
and have something in common with other boys, hahaha

So, now I'm going to sleep liaozzz
tomorrow have to wake up early
only to attend those boring classes.

Haizz, how long do I have to put up with this?
1 year... JUST ONE MORE FUCKING YEAR

A year which I dread the most

A year which every teacher would say the toughest. 

Fin,e just put up with it for 1 more year barh

Have you ever imagined yourself rowing a boat

by yourself in a fast current stream?

Well, next year, 2013 I'd be in that situation D: 

where you have no choice

but you've got to row with effort

Never a chance you have that you can be complacent

( well, it depends on what type a person you're ) 

If you stop rowing for just an instant

you'll be dragged behind, and your previous efforts would be wasted

And now, I'm overwhelmed by an abrupt nervousness that

2013 would be a deadly, lethal year x.x 

Speaking of girls / women / females / sluts / bitches
( sorry for my meager vocab xD ) 

nowadays it has become an obsession of mine

to just look her into her eyes

yearn for her to talk to me 

just to see her lips moving 

her tougue pacing back and forth

in a harmonic rhythm that no girl can ever be so enchanting like her

and her lips curving into a smile that no one can ever smile better than her

never a girl can have such effect on me 

but it is only her

that could held me spellbound. 

Lastly, I concluded it as

just a feverish craze 

and I'm happy on the fact that

I'm still not so much into her.