It was a serene morning when I scrambled for everything I needed to wear to the Graduation Ceremoney of SMKTD after having a shower. Yup, couldn't believe our "chap-plang" school has got graduation for its students? Hehe, but this is not the point. What I did and what I caused is what I'll tell you in this blog, which will live with me for the rest of my life, even if I get married or whatever.

So obviously everyone dressed up on that day and so am I, well, if you call that being "dressing up". Just a simple black tie, white long-sleeve shirt and black slack pants, and of course last but not least, the "heel" to gives me the height that Pei Teng gave me.

Then there she is, as tall as I'm, much to my satisfaction. I still remembered vividly how she dressed up that day, which I didn't like too much LOL. I wasn't feeling anything on that day either.

Then God decided to do a trick on me on that day. The plot, the usual plot of enjoying every performance while trying to deceive yourself into thinking the food there are nice, trying to take as many photos as possible since it might not be possible to do so in the future, trying to .... The plot has taken a twist when some unknown magic struck me so hard to take a leap of faith to do something foolish. Still wasn't sure how I felt, I asked Rina out and "ran my errands".

I asked her to come to the top of the hotel as I have "something important" to tell her, only to be treated in oblivion until now. No jokes, I gave her pillow instead of flowers. She accepted it, much to my surprise, and she didn't seem unhappy about it. We chatted awhile. And we .... our story ends.

I may forget what she said to me, but I will never forget the way she made me felt. Now, looking back retrospectively, that was outright childish. I've no idea what I'd been thinking that day. I was perplexed, confused. I played a fool on myself, not to mention the immediate sorrow that hit me so hard to the core later. It's amusing that I actually care to tell this story now, even it's been a year. I think I've moved on. If I haven't, then it's time to move on. Maybe you'd say I still care about her subconsciously, but I really have moved on. I should thank her for giving me a taste of how it feels like to go head over heel on someone. Yup, we didn't progress to what it was supposed to go after that day, when chances are aplenty. The reasons are intangible, but somehow obvious. It was partly have something to do with my sense of inferiority, which had gotten the best of me. We stayed in contact for awhile, but not long ago, it tapered off again, and I don't really care much about it either, which I'm glad. I guess she moved on too? Haha.

You know... I'm still pretty much a boy who will cry and very much need a cuddle from my mum, although my mum is too ASIAN to do it. Something happened today which I'm not going to talk about. I also couldn't believe that my mood was totally ruined because of this. All the time during NTUSO meeting, I was just merely physically present there and listened to every details without voicing much words. The incident got to me so much that even seeing the hot girl during the meeting couldn't soothe me. Never mind, I will be fine, really :) 

Seems like I'm not going back for another week again, really have no mood to do so. So I will just stay here and "mug" myself all the way.