I met a girl
She has a lovely name just like you
That always echoes in my heart
She never fails to hold me spellbound
Captivating, mesmerizing, tantalising...
She loves to wear light make up
What with a glossy red lips
Not to mention her sweet smile with glistening whie teeth
She studies English Literature
And sort of sends me revelling in my Angmoh fantasy
Because you know what?
She doesn't speak Mandarin
She is a classy 21st century lady who plays the cello
Which, again, makes me "wow-out-loud" that..
She's my cup of tea
She just has that gracious vibes that tickle all my senses
Especially when she is playing the cello
Slowly, gently, calmingly fiddling through the strings
Producing soothing sounds that resonates in the empty, battered heart of mine
Then on one fateful night
I dreamt of you
My miraculous encounter with her no longer excites me
I envision myself holding her hands and thinking about you
That is when I realized I've not moved on
And my heart still inhabits a person
Who would never render me paradise

Tada! Back to blogging again out of boredom.

Again, this blog still serves as my personal platform to express my feelings, views and perspectives, my personal affairs, etc etc

Lately many things ( to me it is many things ) happened!

First, it's the announcement of my Year 1 Semester 2 exam result

By the way, what is so big deal about the release of result isn't about what I got 

(Well, I got a meagre 4.74, don't flame me please, I really thought I can at least secure a 4.9x) 

So before digressing further, I reiterate I'm not really gonna emphasize more on my result ha

*Sigh*

She didn't even bother to ask anything about my results

Sometimes it really makes me feel like as if all this while

I have always been the one who is hovering over her 

She didn't even ask anything about me, not even what I've been doing lately 

Yea, I admit that I kinda feel sad about that

I still cannot forget her, and it's almost 2 years 

I haven't moved on, I haven't forgotten how she made me feel 

I've always been thinking of her, EVERY DAMN TIME 

And she doesn't seem to show any concerns on my life

I'm super selfish and at the same time foolish

I hope she would reciprocate my feelings on her

But she doesn't, and I'm fed up

Right now I just want to take a break and stop thinking about her

Enough of my feelings towards a girl

As of today, I really have no idea what my colleagues are thinking about

What I mean here is, what the fuck is really in their head?

Like my supervisor, I asked her to bill for a customer while she was "going frenzy" with her business with the computer

Then she was like : What? You don't know how to bill?

Funny, how can people be so weird? 

You're my supervisor, and it's very unlikely that a blue-collared worker like me would ask you to do the job for me   

She pek chek for what? If I know how to bill, will I ask you to do the job for me? 

Then she said something like this

"Do you know how busy am I? There are so many people to ask and why don't you ask them blah blah? You don't know how to bill is it, come and learn now, etc etc"

And not to mention a "micro-manager" that was assigned to me as my mentor ever since the first day I worked there

Amazingly, she is like, she just has that aura of being a micro-manager

It's like everything I did can generate so much comments from her 

For instance, once I greeted a customer and lead them to somewhere comfortable for a sit with 2 sofas, somewhere which is farther than the other seats where the customers are sitting

Then she was like : Hey, next time when many customers are sitting at a certain area, you lead the new customers to seats in that area k? Like that easier for you to collect their plates when the customers leave right? This is logic, isn't it? 

Hello, may I ask you, how the heck can I ever come to this uncanny thinking of yours?
I always prioritize the customers' comforts okay? 

If you were the customers, where would you want to sit? 

Does it matter if the customers sit farther a little away?

After all collecting plates is also my job and you don't have to do it anyway ok?

So in conclusion : They are very weird ~.~

Ok, enough of my ranting.

Bye. 

It was a serene morning when I scrambled for everything I needed to wear to the Graduation Ceremoney of SMKTD after having a shower. Yup, couldn't believe our "chap-plang" school has got graduation for its students? Hehe, but this is not the point. What I did and what I caused is what I'll tell you in this blog, which will live with me for the rest of my life, even if I get married or whatever.

So obviously everyone dressed up on that day and so am I, well, if you call that being "dressing up". Just a simple black tie, white long-sleeve shirt and black slack pants, and of course last but not least, the "heel" to gives me the height that Pei Teng gave me.

Then there she is, as tall as I'm, much to my satisfaction. I still remembered vividly how she dressed up that day, which I didn't like too much LOL. I wasn't feeling anything on that day either.

Then God decided to do a trick on me on that day. The plot, the usual plot of enjoying every performance while trying to deceive yourself into thinking the food there are nice, trying to take as many photos as possible since it might not be possible to do so in the future, trying to .... The plot has taken a twist when some unknown magic struck me so hard to take a leap of faith to do something foolish. Still wasn't sure how I felt, I asked Rina out and "ran my errands".

I asked her to come to the top of the hotel as I have "something important" to tell her, only to be treated in oblivion until now. No jokes, I gave her pillow instead of flowers. She accepted it, much to my surprise, and she didn't seem unhappy about it. We chatted awhile. And we .... our story ends.

I may forget what she said to me, but I will never forget the way she made me felt. Now, looking back retrospectively, that was outright childish. I've no idea what I'd been thinking that day. I was perplexed, confused. I played a fool on myself, not to mention the immediate sorrow that hit me so hard to the core later. It's amusing that I actually care to tell this story now, even it's been a year. I think I've moved on. If I haven't, then it's time to move on. Maybe you'd say I still care about her subconsciously, but I really have moved on. I should thank her for giving me a taste of how it feels like to go head over heel on someone. Yup, we didn't progress to what it was supposed to go after that day, when chances are aplenty. The reasons are intangible, but somehow obvious. It was partly have something to do with my sense of inferiority, which had gotten the best of me. We stayed in contact for awhile, but not long ago, it tapered off again, and I don't really care much about it either, which I'm glad. I guess she moved on too? Haha.

You know... I'm still pretty much a boy who will cry and very much need a cuddle from my mum, although my mum is too ASIAN to do it. Something happened today which I'm not going to talk about. I also couldn't believe that my mood was totally ruined because of this. All the time during NTUSO meeting, I was just merely physically present there and listened to every details without voicing much words. The incident got to me so much that even seeing the hot girl during the meeting couldn't soothe me. Never mind, I will be fine, really :) 

Seems like I'm not going back for another week again, really have no mood to do so. So I will just stay here and "mug" myself all the way.